2007-2008 Season Odes

[King Crimson]

Another opportunity for me to post sincerely intentioned but artistically flawed clap-trap, in homage of our new signings:

Ode to Finishing Twelfth
(Trad. English Arr. Johnny Mathis Lyrics: King Crimson)

You ask me how it happened, must I explain?
We needed you, Fox and Dann, to keep clean sheets again
You ask what about Ricketts, I'll tell you true
Down to the Twelfth of League One, our goals they dried up too.

We came close, but we let it go
We came close, but that we all know

I'll love you 'til the Baggies win the FA Cup
I'll love you 'til the Dingles sing "We are gooin' up!"
I'll love you 'til the Villa in Europe again play
Down to the Twelfth of League One and that's a long, long way

Down to the Twelfth of League One and that's a long, long way.


Ode to Darren Wrack (for his testimonial)
Wrack in the Walsall Midfield
(Music: Lennon/McCartney Lyrics: King Crimson) - To the tune of 'Back in the USSR'

Flew in to the Bescot for Walsall FC
Just about ten years ago
Didn’t realise just what a hit he’d be
Now we hope he’ll never go
He’s Wrack in the Walsall midfield
The others don’t have this appeal, boy
Wrack in the Walsall midfield, yeah

Been around so long he nearly owns the place
Must feel like a second home
Everyone around is a familiar face
He should never walk alone
He’s Wrack in the Walsall midfield
The others don’t have this appeal, boy
Wrack in the Walsall
Wrack in the Walsall
Wrack in the Walsall midfield, yeah

Well Walker’s saves really knocked me out
They leave the rest behind
And Marshy’s steps make me sing and shout
And Jorge's always on my my my my my my my my my mind

Oh, show me all your skills
This year at Wemb-er-ley
Take us to The Championship
Let me chant your name
And “what will be, will be”
That would be an awesome trip!
He’s Wrack in the Walsall midfield
The others don’t have this appeal, boy
Wrack in the Walsall
Wrack in the Walsall
Wrack in the Walsall midfield, yeah


Repeat chorus until Heather Mills marries you


Ode to Rhys Weston
(Music: Frankie Valley Lyrics: King Crimson)

He’ll solve our problems and we’ll see the light
We gotta pass and move, we gotta play down the right
There ain't no danger he will go too far
He’ll give the ball to Hall, and he’ll turn into a star

Rhys is the word

They think our club is just an also-ran
Why don't they understand, we’ll be up there and we can
Their lips are lying only big clubs succeed
But Forest never beat us, and Leeds are crippled by greed

Chorus:
Rhys is the word (is the word that we’ve heard)
He’s got moves, he’s got meaning
Rhys has the time, has the pace, has the motion
Rhys gives our hope a new meaning

He’ll take the pressure of Millwall away
League Two obscurity belongs to yesterday
There is a chance that we can make it so far
We start believing now and we are raising the bar

Chorus

Repeat chorus until it turns colder, that's where it ends.


Ode to Carlos Carneiro

Carlos Swifter
(Music: G Michael Lyrics: King Crimson)

I feel so unsure
We’ve had our share of foreign players before
Some can only dive, make us close our eyes
This calls to mind some good players
But also some bad buys

I hope we’ve found a star again
Two good feet, a saddlers hero
I always hope for the best and then
I feel like such a fool
Could've proved a masterstroke a brilliant find
Don’t waste the chance that you've been given
But the only way to win me round
Is score a goal or two

Time will surely tell
Is Carlos swifter than Sam as well?
In front of faithful fans
Your future’s in your hands
But will you see the season through
Or will you be making other plans?


Tonight the Banks’s seems so loud
We’re never gonna lose with this crowd
We’ll cheer you home and more away
We'd only want to see you show some flair and play
We could be really good together
A saddlers legend crowned forever
But now, for Boldmere away
Please play



Repeat chorus until hair spray in buffon sets.


Ode to Tommy Mooney
'Mooney for Nothing'
(Music: M Knopfler Lyrics: King Crimson)

Now look at them oldies that’s the way you do it
You talk to big clubs and they want a fee
That ain’t Walsall, that’s not how we do it
Mooney for nothin’ and Hall for free
Now this is Walsall, that’s the way we do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a player who can coach the others
Maybe got some talent to come

We gotta wait for a day or two longer
There will be some more deliveries
We gotta trust in the gaffer’s judgment
We gotta just wait and see who they’ll be

See the striker with the power and the trick-shot
Yeah buddy he’s got no hair
That striker played for Blues, Watford and Wycombe
That Tommy Mooney has played everywhere!

We gotta wait for a day or two longer
There will be some more deliveries
We gotta trust in the gaffer’s judgment
We gotta just wait and see who they’ll be

We coulda gone and spent some money quickly
We coulda paid for a load of bums
Just like Merson, still got his face in the camera
Man, but that just was no fun
And he’s up there, what’s that? “Walsall will struggle”?
You’d do better asking someone else for punditry
He ain’t thinking, that’s the way we’ll do it
Got our Mooney for nothin’ got our Hall for free


Repeat chorus until fully digitised for the video.


Ode to Dwayne Mattis
Singin’ for Dwayne

(Music: Don Lockwood Lyrics: King Crimson)

Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

We’ll sing a song for Dwayne
Just sing a song for Dwayne
What a glorious feelin'
We’re winning again
We’ve legs in midfield
And pace up above
Defence full of heart
In the team that I love
Let the wingers give chase
Trying to keep their place
Come on, sing for Dwayne
Put a smile on his face
I know what I like
A midfield with a Tyke
Just singin',
Singin' up for Dwayne


Repeat chorus whilst disappointed police officer looks on.


Ode to Michael Ricketts

Another Ricketts Great Goal
(Music: R Waters/D Gilmore Lyrics: King Crimson)

He don’t need no confrontation
He don’t need no fans to moan
No dark sarcasm from the touchline
Let’s sign him up from three month’s loan

Hey Saddlers! Leave our Mike alone!
All in all let’s watch another Ricketts great goal.
All in all it's just another Ricketts great goal.

Repeat chorus until Roger Waters leaves acrimoniously.


Ode to Junior Mawete
"It Doesn’t Rhyme With Many Things"
(Music: Bette Midler Lyrics: King Crimson)

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.
It must have been cold there in The Banks’s,
to never have sunlight on your face.
Are we content to let you sign, but anyway.
You’ve gone and left Angola behind.

Will you be the one to bring us glory,
will you give us pace and skill and strength.
A beautiful face without a place on the bench.
Growing older, despite the name.

Did Junior know that he’s my hero,
Mawete’s who I would like to be?
So I will devote an ode to Joao
But it doesn’t rhyme with many things.

Repeat chorus until all cried out.


Ode to Paul Boertien
'My Name is Paul Boertien'
(Music: S Robinson Lyrics: King Crimson)

Maybe you'd like to give me a white shirt
And put me in the left back berth
Maybe you’ll watch away and home as well
And I’ll show the saddlers what the Rams fans tell
Oh number 23…

Chorus
In that case I will play my part
I know that I can break attacks apart
Well if want a real full back
If you got the notion
My name is Paul Boertien
Well if you feel like playing me
To create a crowd commotion
My name is Paul Boertien

Maybe you'll think that I may let you down
And you’d rather see Kris Taylor back in town
Maybe you think that I’m the one to choose
If you came to Banks’s and saw me against the Blues
Oh number 23…

[chorus]

In that case I will play my part
I know that I can break wingers apart
Well if want a real full back
If you got the notion
My name is Paul Boertien
Well if you feel like playing me
To create a crowd commotion
My name is Paul Boertien

Repeat chorus until signed up by Motown

Ode to Edrissa Sonko
'Sonko'
(Music: P Collins Lyrics: King Crimson)

There's this player that we’ve just signed
’Mr Sunshine’, So-So-Sonko oh oh
Now I’ve not even seen him train
But I hope he starts in every game
So-So-Sonko oh oh

Oh if they pass it, he'll be there
He'll go running anywhere
He's all we need, in League One
Goals to his name, assists for everyone!
So-So-Sonko, just say the word
Oh Sonko

Now I know that he’s still quite young
Saddlers career just begun
So-So-Sonko oh oh
Ooh give him a chance, a chance to shine
We’ll cheer him all the time
So-So-Sonko oh oh

Ah, we’re glad to have him, here and now
Defenders try to close him but they don't know how
He makes them nervous and makes them scared
For no other Gambian, have we cared
So-So-Sonko just say the word
Oh Sonko

Repeat chorus whilst hairline recedes.


Ode to Danny Sonner
'Don't Comb Back in Anger'
(Music: N Gallagher Lyrics: King Crimson)

Slip on the team shirt we won't mind
Down the M6 you'll find
A better place to play
Some said you won't make the team
You're nothing but a has-been
Or that you wouldn't stay

But we've got a revolution at Walsall
Where we keep it down and try to play football
Step outside, the crowd are there for you
Stand up to the other side
You never were a player to hide
You ain't gonna start to back off now

So Danny can't wait
It's never too late to return to Walsall
His hair flies away
'I don't comb back in anger'
We heard you say
At least not today.


Repeat chorus until cigarettes and alcohol run out.

Ode to Peter Sweeney
(Music: B Hyland Lyrics: King Crimson)

"Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Midfielder Called Peter Sweeney"

Two, three, four
Tell the people that he’ll score

He was afraid to come out of the tunnel
He was as nervous as he could be
He was afraid to come out of the tunnel
Cos he knows we don’t like the Stokies

One, two, three, four
Tell the people that he’ll score

He’s not an itsy bitsy teenie weenie midfielder called Peter Sweeney
That we signed from the Stokies today
A six foot tall Glaswegian player, called Peter Sweeney
So in the tunnel he wanted to stay

One, two, three, four
Stick around, we'll tell you more

He was afraid to come out past the touchline
In the new white and red shirt he wore
He was afraid to come out past the touchline
But he don’t play for The Potters no more

One, two, three, four
Tell the people that he’ll score!

He’s not an itsy bitsy teenie weenie midfielder called Peter Sweeney
That we signed from the Stokies today
A six foot tall Glaswegian player, called Peter Sweeney
So on the touchline he wanted to stay

One, two, three, four
Stick around, we'll tell you more

Now he's afraid that the dream will be over
And the loan spell will end one day too
Now he's afraid he’ll return to the Stokies
And the poor geezer dow wanna goo

One, two, three, four
Tell the people we want more!

He’s not an itsy bitsy teenie weenie midfielder called Peter Sweeney
That we signed from the Stokies today
A six foot tall Glaswegian player, called Peter Sweeney
So at The Banks’s he wanted to stay



Repeat chorus while drinking soda and eating tacos.

"Martin Brittain" (to the tune of "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads)
(Music: D Byrne Lyrics: King Crimson)

We’ve just got to face up to the facts
We need some better cover for the right back
Team’s great, we’re on fire
Just need a new winger to inspire.

Martin Brittain
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run all day
Martin Brittain
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run all day

You start a decent move, bet Mooney can finish it.
You won’t cost a lot, don’t mean you’re not worth anything.
We’ll cheer you on, when you take the field.
You’ve been good once, why not again ?

Martin Brittain
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run all day
Martin Brittain
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run all day

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....

Repeat chorus to beat box while remainder of band are wheeled on stage.

Ode to Lee Holmes

Banks's Bound
(Music: Paul Simon Lyrics: King Crimson)

I’m sittin’ here at Bescot Station
I have finally reached my destination
Lookin’ at the empty stands
My Saddler’s future’s now at hand
I hope it goes the way I planned
Since Demontagnac has been banned

Banks’s bound
I’m glad I am
Banks’s bound
Holmes, what the crowd in cheering
Holmes, no they won’t be jeering
Holmes, where the goal lies waiting
Silently for me

Everyday's an endless stream
A training and fitness regime
And each goal looks the same to me
Whether at Banks’s or at County
And every fan’s face that I see
Reminds me that I’m glad to be

Banks’s bound
I’m glad I am
Banks’s bound
Holmes, what the crowd in cheering
Holmes, no they won’t be jeering
Holmes, where the goal lies waiting
Silently for me

Repeat chorus whilst being seduced by Mrs Robinson

Ode to Kevin Betsy
Kev Betsy is Best
(Music: P Townshend Lyrics: King Crimson)

Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best – Oooooooooooo!
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best – Oooooooooooo!
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best – Oooooooooooo!
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best – Oooooooooooo!

We called you on the telephone
Expressing our great interest.
Asking if you would come here on loan
And give your well-known talent a much sterner test

You’ll love to hear us say your name
especially when we say “yes!”
We’ve only got promotion on our minds
Please don’t say we’re being blind or too small to make progress
To the sound of Ring of Fire oh, and Who's Next

Chorus:

When we say we love you, you say “Who’s better?”
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best!
When we say we need you, you say “Who’s better?”
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best!
Play the game of your life
Or we will only see more strife

I want those feeble minded critics overthrown
I'm not into the whinging cynics, who just come to moan
We’ll welcome you with open arms and dancing legs
We’ll show you how much we care, especially Dancin’ Kev

I don't really mind that you’re a loanee
Ooh, a little is alright
We’ll just say
We’ll cheer you both day and night
Dynamite
Dynamite

When we say we love you, you say “Who’s better?”
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best!
When we say we need you, you say “Who’s better?”
Kev Betsy, Kev Betsy is best!
Play the game of your life
Or we will only see more strife

Repeat chorus while smashing your guitar.

Ode to Allou N’Dour
Music: Bob Dylan Lyrics: King Crimson

Mooney take this ball away from me
I can't use it anymore
Defender’s hacked me down below the knee
Seems like he’s heard of ‘Allou’ N'Dour

Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour
Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour
Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour
Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour

Wracky put the ball on the ground
I can't shoot if its not on the floor
The crowd will cheer – a familiar sound
Now that they’ve seen ‘Allou’ N'Dour

Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour
Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour
Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour
Al – Al – Al – Al – Allou N’Dour

[Repeat chorus whilst creating Beatnik generation]

"Stefan More Time"
(Music: for Britney Spears Lyrics: King Crimson)


Oh Stefan, baby
Oh Stefan, baby
Oh Stefan, baby
How were we supposed to know
That you’d become a saddler
Oh Stefan baby
Villa shouldn't let you go
Thinkin’ you’re just too bad, yeah
Show us, and we’ll make a real fuss
Make the net bust
'Cause we need to know now what we've got

[CHORUS:]
We’re strikers short, it worries me
Play-offs beckon, I still believe
If its not you then who can we find?
Glad that you’ve signed
Now its Stefan Moore time

Oh Stefan, baby
We’ll make the play-offs with you
Boy you’re gonna score now
Oh Stefan, baby
There's nothing that we wouldn't do
You’ll hear the saddlers roar now
Show us, and we’ll make a real fuss
Make the net bust
'Cause we need to know now what we've got

[Repeat CHORUS until escorted to hospital]

UP WHERE WE BELONG (Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes)
To Cllr David J. Clifft - with love.

Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world where few jokes survive
All I know, is the way I feel
Were it real, the saddler’s would thrive
The road is long
There are councils in our way
And our owner couldn’t pay

Dave Clifft says we do not belong
Wants to make us cry, joke has passed him by
Dave Clifft says we do not belong
Far from The Banks’s we know
Up to South Staffs we’d go

Some hang on our every word
Live their lives all dull and grey
All we have is our messageboard
And a bit of fun on April Fool’s Day
The road is long
There are councils in our way
And our owner couldn’t pay

Dave Clifft says we do not belong
Wants to make us cry, joke has passed him by
Dave Clifft says we do not belong
Far from The Banks’s we know
Up to South Staffs we’d go


Repeat chorus whilst answering phone inundated with concerned residents.